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I’m conflicted about gaining weight, was anyone else in my position, and how did things turn o

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Bovine Princess   United States
Joined 3 years
I’m very conflicted about gaining weight. For context, I’m a bit chubby right now, not through intentional weight gain, and I’m not super fat. It feels like my desires are conflicting, on one hand, my fetishistic and sexual desires want me to get obese, but my nonsexual desires want me to get fit since I like being active. Plus I worry about fat ruining my face structure.

Was or is anyone else in my position? What did you decide? If you decided to go through with it, was it worth it? Any advice?
1 week

I’m conflicted about gaining weight, was anyone else in my position, and how did things turn o

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SumoSized   United States
Joined 9 months
Bovine Princess:
I’m very conflicted about gaining weight. For context, I’m a bit chubby right now, not through intentional weight gain, and I’m not super fat. It feels like my desires are conflicting, on one hand, my fetishistic and sexual desires want me to get obese, but my nonsexual desires want me to get fit since I like being active. Plus I worry about fat ruining my face structure.

Was or is anyone else in my position? What did you decide? If you decided to go through with it, was it worth it? Any advice?

I say this a lot but being fit and being fat don't have to be mutually exclusive. They often are but if you take the right precautions you can still stay fairly active while gaining weight. Id recommend trying some weightlifting with a focus on lower body and core strength along with some cardio. If weightlifting isn't something you're interested in I definitely recommend hiking, it's decent cardio and depending on what the incline is like at your local state park it can be a really good lower body workout. Mind you, you will burn more calories going this route so you will have to eat more on average to gain at a decent rate. But that's up to you to decide if it's worth it or not
1 week

I’m conflicted about gaining weight, was anyone else in my position, and how did things turn o

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Morbidly A Beast   United States
Joined 2 years
props to you for getting a choice in the matter I was already pretty fat when I decided to really give in to my appetite.

You should check your fatphobia tbh a lot of us fat people don’t have ruined faces.
1 week

I’m conflicted about gaining weight, was anyone else in my position, and how did things turn o

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Bovine Princess   United States
Joined 3 years
Morbidly A Beast:
props to you for getting a choice in the matter I was already pretty fat when I decided to really give in to my appetite.

You should check your fatphobia tbh a lot of us fat people don’t have ruined faces.


My apologies, I don’t think fat people have ruined faces, I was careless with my words, I am specifically worried about not liking my face after significant weight gain
1 week

I’m conflicted about gaining weight, was anyone else in my position, and how did things turn o

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Bovine Princess   United States
Joined 3 years
Morbidly A Beast:
props to you for getting a choice in the matter I was already pretty fat when I decided to really give in to my appetite.

You should check your fatphobia tbh a lot of us fat people don’t have ruined faces.

Kitsune2:
I'm genuinely curious what do you two mean by "ruined?" I assume one of you is referring to a double chin which I will be honest I have mixed feelings with mine. OP might've worded their comment poorly but understandably they might have some self-esteem issues.

As a plus size woman myself I sometimes don't love my body thanks to my fataphobic family and how society pressures women to be skinny.


Again, I’m sorry, I don’t mean all fat people have ruined faces. I was careless with my words. And I’m sorry your family is crappy to you for it. I specifically meant that I’m worried about not liking my face in particular with weight gain since I already have a pretty wide face
1 week

I’m conflicted about gaining weight, was anyone else in my position, and how did things turn o

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
Morbidly A Beast:
props to you for getting a choice in the matter I was already pretty fat when I decided to really give in to my appetite.

You should check your fatphobia tbh a lot of us fat people don’t have ruined faces.

Kitsune2:
I'm genuinely curious what do you two mean by "ruined?" I assume one of you is referring to a double chin which I will be honest I have mixed feelings with mine. OP might've worded their comment poorly but understandably they might have some self-esteem issues.

As a plus size woman myself I sometimes don't love my body thanks to my fataphobic family and how society pressures women to be skinny.

Bovine Princess:
Again, I’m sorry, I don’t mean all fat people have ruined faces. I was careless with my words. And I’m sorry your family is crappy to you for it. I specifically meant that I’m worried about not liking my face in particular with weight gain since I already have a pretty wide face


Internalized fatphobia is a bitch. Well, any form of internalized self hatred is.

From your point of view, all you saw was the death of self. You are used to your face looking a certain way, and that is a major form of your personal identity. So, naturally, you want to keep it even as you change other parts of yourself.

Meanwhile, unintentionally, you equated all fat people as having ruined fat faces. I'm sure you don't think they have ruined faces. But unchallenged biases are funny like that.

If you like your face as is and don't want it to change, that is a valid reason not to gain. However, I would challenge you to consider why you see it as ruining your face.
1 week

I’m conflicted about gaining weight, was anyone else in my position, and how did things turn o

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Bovine Princess   United States
Joined 3 years
I’m going to stop quoting, otherwise this would get too long. But yes, I didn’t mean to imply all fat people’s faces are ruined. I just am specifically worried that since I already have a bigger than average face, that I’m self conscious about, that getting fatter would make it bigger and “ruin” my self image of my face to me. I think I am significantly more critical of myself than with others in an unhealthy way, as I view most others as beautiful. That is quite some food for thought though Munchies, although I guess I’m back at square one unsure if my hesitation at gaining weight is holding me back from doing something crazy for my life or me unreasonably withholding joy to myself.
1 week

I’m conflicted about gaining weight, was anyone else in my position, and how did things turn o

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Morbidly A Beast   United States
Joined 2 years
Hey no worries I know you probably didn’t think that we have ruined bodies/faces it’s just important to check these ideas/feelings because they are indeed fatphobic even if self inflicted.

I’d just ask what your relationship with food and eating for myself, to deny my appetite had become completely unbearable but id also feel subconscious about how much I was eating - once I embraced it these negative feelings dissipated and I was much happier following what I wanted. Some people aren’t big eaters yet want to be fat and those kind of people I genuinely don’t understand. Being fat involves a lot of eating, if you don’t love eating I don’t really recommend being fat.
6 days

I’m conflicted about gaining weight, was anyone else in my position, and how did things turn o

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Bovine Princess   United States
Joined 3 years
Morbidly A Beast:
Hey no worries I know you probably didn’t think that we have ruined bodies/faces it’s just important to check these ideas/feelings because they are indeed fatphobic even if self inflicted.

I’d just ask what your relationship with food and eating for myself, to deny my appetite had become completely unbearable but id also feel subconscious about how much I was eating - once I embraced it these negative feelings dissipated and I was much happier following what I wanted. Some people aren’t big eaters yet want to be fat and those kind of people I genuinely don’t understand. Being fat involves a lot of eating, if you don’t love eating I don’t really recommend being fat.


I do have a complicated relationship with food, I both hate and like eating. For me, what appeals to me about becoming fat isn’t the eating, but being soft and big and cuddly.
6 days

I’m conflicted about gaining weight, was anyone else in my position, and how did things turn o

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
Morbidly A Beast:
Hey no worries I know you probably didn’t think that we have ruined bodies/faces it’s just important to check these ideas/feelings because they are indeed fatphobic even if self inflicted.

I’d just ask what your relationship with food and eating for myself, to deny my appetite had become completely unbearable but id also feel subconscious about how much I was eating - once I embraced it these negative feelings dissipated and I was much happier following what I wanted. Some people aren’t big eaters yet want to be fat and those kind of people I genuinely don’t understand. Being fat involves a lot of eating, if you don’t love eating I don’t really recommend being fat.

Bovine Princess:
I do have a complicated relationship with food, I both hate and like eating. For me, what appeals to me about becoming fat isn’t the eating, but being soft and big and cuddly.


I think that one of the best things a feedist can do - both those who live to eat and feel conflicted about eating - is to untangle their relationship with food. Huge quality of life boost.
6 days
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